Dear Pri (from 2017)

Pri!

It’s been one hell of a year, wouldn’t you say?

But then again, it always is.

If in the interval of 365 days there weren’t a single special experience… what a waste of life.

This was definitely a great year on the friends and family front. Was it good? I guess that depends on the meassurment system we use to qualify it…

Seen from a quantitative point of view, I feel like I´ll be ending this year with by far more friends than I started with (and I do not take that word lightly, when I say friends, I mean FRIENDS. Not just aqcuaintances but true, HQ friends), shoutout to INTEC for providing me with what I hope are everlasting friendships.

On the other side, seen from a qualitative point of view, I don´t think any of the friendships I started this year with got any stronger; on the contrary, they feel so much weaker, and there are times when I even wondered if they were dying. I´ve been feeling so desconnected to the person who once was my closest friend… and I have not done anything about it. I just thought, maybe this is it, you know? Maybe we just aren´t going to make it, and I´ve learned that that´s okay. In spite of all of this, I do miss her dearly and I always have missed her, I just didn´t know how missing felt; this feeling of nostalgia every time I saw walk by without noticing me, thinking about her everyday without exception, and feeling so numb when our talks don´t resemble our old talks– not even in the smallest of ways. Yup, that´s missing, I decided.

I GOT MYSELF BACK. I RESCUED MYSELF.

All caps needed because that is a major accomplishment for me and my mental health. And in part I have to thank my new group of friends for that, friends who encourage me to better myself everyday and who appreciate me for what I am. Love you guys, even if we are friend just while we´re in college, just one year of knowing you is a lot to be thankful for.

On the family front, I feel like I have gotten extremely close to this one person who is amazing and who I hope I get to keep forever in my life. Sadly, I also feel like I drifted further away from a person who used to be the apple of my eye, my role model. Is it that to better one relationship we have to neglect the other? Has he done that with me, or have I?

I don´t know… I´m  guessing both. I’m just tired of trying.

AND FINALLY.

On the career front, the first thing that comes to mind is that this year sucked because I don’t feel any closer to what I want to be, or to figuring out what I want to be, but I actually can not say that, because I did learn a lot and met some outstanding people and have been inspired… I am just lost. And afraid for the future. Have I picked the most challenging career I could have ever picked? (taking into account my way of being). What am I going to achieve– what do I want to achieve?

This letter is for you, Pri. So next year you can look at it and see how you improved in every possible way. It was John Green who inspired you to write it, and to do so much more.

See you next year!

 

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